Feb. 7th, 2012

fhionnuisce: (Default)
First of all, Prop 8 has been declared unconstitutional. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT FUTURE MARRIAGES IN CA ARE LEGAL BUT THAT THEY CAN'T BE MADE ILLEGAL. They're going to have to re-pass gay marriage there, and that's assuming this does okay in the Supreme Court, but so far this is a big step.

Compared to that, my progress is pretty small. (Even though I have a little bit of bitterness that this had to happen at all, but at least now it's been declared that basically anything less than marriage is discriminatory.)

Today I: Met with case manager, who helped me terminate yet another PCA. This one refused to be professional, repeatedly asking after my sex life and flirting in a really gross way that felt rapey, then backing off of it, of course. God, people are so gross. It feels really rapey and I'm that much further from believing in good PCAs.

So that was a big deal. Did that. Then I also found a bunch of paperwork, went over some bills with my case manager, and some other formal business. After he left, printed off 6 months of bank statements. Tomorrow he will be back and we'll go over them. MY FINANCES MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE for the first time in ages.

Oh, and I made that intro post a sticky at the top, and in general reorganized my stickies a bit, including making my fanfic pages that much less noticable--I hope. I debated deleting my stories, but as my friends would say, I have more class than that. ;) Still...I'm that much closer to taking them off the blog. If I did so, they would remain on AO3.

Not sure when I will be able to afford to rename this journal (the Dreamwidth side). I feel like it's the last step I need to complete to fully distance myself from the "samidha" persona, even though my name(s) would remain attached to each other (i.e. you can still use samidha.livejournal.com to get to me even though I am now transitioning to fhionnuiscetine/fhionnuisce.)

I am so, so, so beyond broke, like, major surprise debt! The good news is, none of the debt is on credit cards (although I haven't checked my credit cards in a while, I don't use them.) Everything will be with people who don't charge much interest. But I still have to ascertain a payment plan for surprise medical bills and surprise missing checks, mainly because I had a computer get fried and I had to replace it or risk my sanity (no joke).

At this point, very honestly, I am not above asking ye of my readership if you wouldn't take up a tiny collection for me to buy a rename token for Dreamwidth. I REALLY don't want to be samidha anymore, every time I see it it makes me throw up in my mouth a little and it reminds me of Spider Phobia Girl, literally going crazy, and the sickening amount of money I sank into fandom.

Much as this is a mental health thing, every cent I own is now accounted for for the next gods only know how long. My case manager is going to help me work out a payment plan tomorrow. But no matter what said payment plan is going to be, the end result will be "every cent you have is now still owed to other people." I knew I couldn't really afford to rename both LJ and DW on my own, but I chose to do so on LJ because of the relevant prevalence of the samidha monicker over there.

I know I'm not the only one in financial trouble right now, and it feels like such a petty little thing, except it's kind of a mental health deal... To the point that I'm actually updating over on LJ more than I do on DW because I don't want to deal with my DW account name.

A rename costs $15. If anyone wants to help hook me up, even $1 at a time, please let me know.

Somewhere around here I have a check from [livejournal.com profile] jennytork, and I haven't forgotten it. If I find it, it actually gets me about halfway there. But I gotta find it first. LOL.

Ugh, I feel like slime right now, but I'm so financially strapped that... there it is. If anyone wants my Paypal details, PM me?

FYI, the new username will be fhionnuisce, to match my tumblr (which, FYI, is turning into a dream journal and gender issues blog. I don't even know) and somewhat match my LJ.

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samidha

December 2012

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